Ready for a bout of melancholy? No? Sorry.
I have a new friend who is pretty much awesome and does awesome life changing things for other people. I casually mentioned one of the blog projects I was working on the other day and she very innocently said, “Yeah, I’ve wondered what’s going on with your blog.”
I know. Me too.
Here’s the deal. I mentioned a little bit ago that we’re having to figure some financial stuff out in a pretty significant way. In a pretty significant, “Maybe it’s time Megan actually found herself a job,” kind of way. In a, “Yes, I applied for part time work at a local Christian bookstore, a natural foods grocery store, and a toy store at the mall,” kind of way. In a, “I’ve thought about using my Early Childhood Education degree to seek employment as a part-time preschool teacher at a nearby daycare center from 2-6pm every day,” kind of way. In a, “I’ve written down the online application form website for two fast food chains, but just can’t bring myself to do that yet,” kind of way.
If I haven’t scared you away for good from my blog, then you know I’ve been doing a lot of posts for Social Fabric lately. I LOVE getting gigs from Social Fabric. Those are the ones I’m always hoping for more to come my way because the more that do, the less I have to think about asking strangers if they want fries with that. In short, it’s the perfect part-time job because I’m always going to the store ANYWAY and I can do the blog part at home on the school days or when my family is sleeping, so I don’t feel this guilt of giving my best hours over in exchange for minimum wage.
The review posts I’ve lightened up on a little since migrating the two blogs back into one, but I know I still do quite a bit of those. That wouldn’t be so bad except that they really have taken the place of any actual thinking content I might otherwise be compelled to provide. And I do like getting the things I review for free.
Free is my love language.
But that leaves me with this sense of having sold-out. I’m not trying to use YOU as some twisted means to my financial end. I’m just trying to leverage what I have (a blog) and the time I have (two days/week and various evenings) to do something that really does benefit our family in a tangible way. Because no matter how hard things get around here, I’m simply not willing to do something outside of my primary calling to be present in our home, with my family, first.
But that leaves me with the question, “Yeah, I’ve wondered what’s going on with your blog.”
I don’t have a super great answer for that yet except for me too.
Me too.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
If you’re looking for strangers to step into your world via your comment page, you can continue reading. Otherwise, delete the comment.
I guess I mind a wee bit all of your reviews. It isn’t the Megan that I used to know. (Like I ever knew you? I just read your blog all the time. Does that qualify me to have an opinion that is remotely useful?) I grow weary of the “I like this, check this out, does anyone else have thoughts?” Don’t get me wrong. Your reviews are what they are supposed to be. They are reviews. They are a help to you, and I am sure a help to others who are interested in the product. And I’m still reading.
So I wonder, can a review have an eternal perspective? Do I ask too much for you to talk to me about vinegar and tell me how it changes you? Because it’s what you used to say (and what you’re saying in this post) that has been a prod and an encouragement to me. I know…it just doesn’t pay the bills. But maybe there’s a third way.
I absolutely value your thoughts here, Michelle, so OF COURSE I’ll keep your comment, even if it does sting me in a place I already knew needed to be stung.
Please know I AM thinking about this. A lot. And I’m trying to figure some things out. In the meantime, I do still have some posts I need to put up because I committed to doing so, but I will really REALLY try to not let them be the only things I pop up.
I actually just went back and counted the number of non-review posts I had vs. review posts for September and that’s what really started the ball of shame rolling on me. Very few non-reviews vs. reviews.
If only I could spin how a toothbrush is changing my heart or something… *stupid grin*
But I do thank you for writing and for coming back and for weathering this weird time with me. All my freelance writing gigs dried up for good last spring and I only have this blog now. This blog which I love, but which doesn’t pay for even the hosting it requires to keep it going. This blog that now tells you about a bajillion homeschool resources you may or may not care about and a lot of things that Walmart sells.
This blog.
Your words about writing things from (or toward) and eternal perspective have stuck with me all day long. I don’t think everything I say or do has to say I LOVE JESUS in so many words, but if I start disowning my influence altogether, then what, really, is the point?
Okay, gotta dash – one of my kids needs a last minute drama costume. But thanks for thinking with me on this.